Confessions of a Serial Cheater III – Marriage


‘O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes his carnal desires.’

[Sahih Al Bukhari]

Our parents tried to do right by us. They married us young to avoid us falling into sin. They tried their utmost to keep us on the straight and narrow.

Her parents took her to Egypt and found her a good decent man to marry. He was well educated and had a good job back home. When he came here he studied and found himself a decent job earning a decent wage. She had everything going for her. She was being looked after and taken care of, she had her freedom and independence, she had everything a girl could want or need. Yet she still felt she this desire and need to be with ‘him’.

My parents found me a good wife. They searched and searched until the found the right one. She was young, pretty, and had good Akhlaq and character. She was from a noble family. She ticked all the right boxes. When I saw her, I fell in love instantly. It felt like a match made in heaven. We got married and instead of living in our ‘happily ever after’, I felt the need to stay in contact with ‘her’ and continue this rendezvous’ whilst being married to my wife.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged us to marry young. The main reason for this is so that we can stay away from the haram and be with the opposite gender in a way that is halal and acceptable to Allah (SWT). But in order for this to work one must start the marriage on a clean slate. One must leave behind any baggage that they carry from previous relationships and make a firm commitment to remain faithful to the one that they have married.

If you are a young man or woman embarking on this sacred bond of marriage, please make sure that anything that you have from you past life that can jeopardise your marriage remains in the past. There is no need to take the baggage with you. Leave it at the departure lounge and free yourself from it for it will bring you nothing but your downfall in the future if you take it with you. Leave the past in the past, draw a line in the sand, and make a fresh new start with the one that you chosen to make yours.

Our problem was that she didn’t let go of the baggage and neither did I. We both thought that we could remain ‘friends’.

It was a disaster waiting to happen. And disaster did strike. Not once, not twice, but many times during our 15 year marriage.

 

©Islamopdia – Written anonymously ‘Confessions of a Serial Cheater’ is a collaboration between Islamopedia and others to raise awareness of the issue of infidelity in marriage. Although the characters and the narrative are fictional, the story is based on true events and reflects the pain that many women (and men) have to suffer due to the selfish actions of one partner. The purpose of this series is to stop anyone engaged in such activity before it’s too late and deter anyone thinking of committing such a sin before they fall into it. NB: Anyone having trouble in their relationships should seek professional help from qualified scholars and counsellors.

Confessions of a Serial Cheater II – How it all Started


 

The Declining Day

In the Name of God, the Infinitely Good, the All-Merciful.

By the declining day. Verily mankind is in ruinous loss. Except they that believe and do good works, and exhort one another unto truth and unto patience.

[Surah Al Asr, Verses 1-3]

Let me transport you back to the year 1998. What were you doing back then? Who were you with? Perhaps you were still at school, or perhaps you had taken a new job? I know exactly where I was and what I was doing.

I was a fresh graduate from Uni and I had just landed my first job as a trainee in a top city accounts firm. It was a fairly mediocre administrative position, but it helped to get my foot in the door and I could use it as a leverage to work my way up the career ladder.

I was a practising Muslim and I tried to keep myself busy engaged in doing good works. I was involved with the local Masjid and local Muslim Youth Organisations. I spent time attending courses and Halaqas and tried to keep myself as occupied as I could. Continue reading Confessions of a Serial Cheater II – How it all Started

Confessions of a Serial Cheater I – Life as He Knew It


“The servant will continue to be tried until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.”

[Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398, Grade: Sahih]

It’s 4:30pm on a Friday afternoon. I have just come off the phone to a counselling service. I never thought I would ever need the assistance of a counselling service in my life. I always saw myself as a jolly old fellow who didn’t let the worries of the world get on top of him. But this was different. This wasn’t a worry that was bothering me. This was an addiction that was killing me. Killing me inside, slowly. Killing my soul and breaking down all of the defence barriers that it has to ward off such evils from oneself.

On the way home that evening there was only one thought on my mind. That thought was my wife. The only woman in my life that has stood besides me through all of my trials, through sun, rain and snow, through thick and thin. She has remained faithful to me in spite of all the pain that I have caused her. I love her dearly but I fear the day that she decides she has had enough and decides to leave me. That will be the day that the world ends for me as there will be no purpose to live any longer. What good is a life without your lover beside you, your partner being there to hold your hands, your companion to share your days and nights with? Continue reading Confessions of a Serial Cheater I – Life as He Knew It

Young Explorers’ Adventures in Madinah – An Excerpt


20-logo-left-down

In aid of World Book Day 2017, below is an unedited excerpt from our forthcoming title the ‘Young Explorers’ Adventures in Madinah.’

The end of the journey was near and it was slowly dawning on our young explorers how they would have to leave the city of Madinah very soon. They had just over a day left in the city and there were still a lot of places to try and squeeze into their visits before they departed for home.

That morning after the Fajr prayers they sat in the Masjid quietly reflecting on their trip and all of the places that they had visited and all of the landmarks that they had seen. In the distance they could see the elderly gentleman who they saw earlier in the week. His long white thobe, immaculate and uncreased, adorned his body. His white turban sat neatly perched on his head. His deep black eyes had this piercing gaze about them.

He turned around to face them, momentarily smiling as he got up and started walking towards our explorers.

“I wonder what he wants,” whispered Ali to the other two. “Maybe he is coming to say Salam,” replied Zaynah as she moved closer to her sister.

Uncle Hamza stood up and greeted the old man as he approached the place where our travellers were sitting. “Wa Alaykum As Salam,” replied the old man as uncle Hamza embraced him like he’d found a long lost friend.

“I am Musa,” said the old man as he gently sat beside our travellers. “Musa Binyamin Ali, and I look after the sacred chamber in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his companions are buried,” he added.

“You work here?” asked Ali excitedly. “I do indeed my son. I am one of the few remaining Eunuchs that are employed to look after, guard and maintain the sacred chamber.”

“Wow!” cheered Maryam and Zaynah.

“I have been watching your group for the past few days. Seeing how you have taken in interest in the Mosque and its surroundings,” said Musa.

“We are here on a special mission,” added little Zaynah, “here to explore the historical sites of the city,” she said.

“How interesting!” replied Musa with a smile. “I thought as much and have come to offer my humble services,” he added.

“That would be really nice,” replied uncle Hamza as he informed their new friend of the sites and places that they had already visited.

“I can teach you about the houses of the companions that were located in and around the Masjid,” said Musa as he got up to leave again. “And if you’re really lucky, you may even get a chance to have a sneak preview inside the Scared Chamber!” he said with a glimmer in his eyes.

“We would love that!” exclaimed Maryam, Zaynah and Ali, excited at the prospect of being invited inside the Sacred Chamber.

“Meet me here after the ‘Esha prayers,” whispered Musa as he walked away and disappeared behind one of the many hidden doors of the Masjid.

“What’s a Eunuch?” thought Ali aloud, as our travellers got up to begin their day of exploring. “You can ask him when you see him later,” replied Zubair as they walked towards the exit gates of the Masjid.

For a chance to win a copy of our book, visit @readlittlemuslims page on instagram.