Confessions of a Serial Cheater II – How it all Started


 

The Declining Day

In the Name of God, the Infinitely Good, the All-Merciful.

By the declining day. Verily mankind is in ruinous loss. Except they that believe and do good works, and exhort one another unto truth and unto patience.

[Surah Al Asr, Verses 1-3]

Let me transport you back to the year 1998. What were you doing back then? Who were you with? Perhaps you were still at school, or perhaps you had taken a new job? I know exactly where I was and what I was doing.

I was a fresh graduate from Uni and I had just landed my first job as a trainee in a top city accounts firm. It was a fairly mediocre administrative position, but it helped to get my foot in the door and I could use it as a leverage to work my way up the career ladder.

I was a practising Muslim and I tried to keep myself busy engaged in doing good works. I was involved with the local Masjid and local Muslim Youth Organisations. I spent time attending courses and Halaqas and tried to keep myself as occupied as I could.In spite of the above there was a still a large void in my life. A big black hole that I could not fill. There was emptiness in my life.

Being young and naïve I thought that what was missing in my life was a women. So I went about trying to find this woman in the most unconventional way.

The internet was still young in those days and social media as we know it did not exist. There was no Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Watsapp or Instagram. There were no smart phones or apps. Email and MSN Messenger was about all we had back then.

I met a girl through an online forum and we began to chat. Being a practising Muslim, alarm bells should have rung and I should have stopped what I was doing there and then. But I didn’t. My Nafs and my Hawa got the better of me and we continued to chat, first online, and then via emails which led to texting and then eventually phone calls.

I think the above will be a familiar story for many young men and women growing up during that era. Especially for those growing up in fairly conservative Muslim households. The problem is even more acute now with the advent of social media and the countless forms of virtual communication that is available to the youth of today.

Anyway, we texted and we spoke and we became ‘friends.’ As happens in these situations, one thing led to another and we began ‘falling’ for each other. We enjoyed each other’s company and we continued our virtual relationship for several months, until one day, she called me to say that she was going to Egypt to visit her grandmother who was elderly and ill.

I thought nothing of it. We both thought that she was going on a family holiday and would return back in a few weeks time and we would ‘resume’ our virtual friendship where we had left off.

She never returned. Not as she was anyway. She had gotten married in Egypt and she was moving on with her life with another man.

A part of me was upset, of course it was. But another part of me was happy for her. I wished her well and I thought that I would never hear from her again.

But I did hear from her. And from that moment on there was a continuous cycle of sin and wrongdoing in my life.

If I could go back to those days now, I would constantly remind myself about the verses of Surah Al Asr above and the verse from Surah Al Isra’ below:

‘And do not come [anywhere] near fornication. It is indeed an indecency and an evil way.’

[Surah Al Isra’: Verse 32]

There is a very good reason why Allah (SWT) says ‘And do not come [anywhere] near fornication.’ Because fornication and adultery are such an evil vice that they can ruin everything good that you have in your life. It is indeed an indecency and an evil way,’ as described in the verse above.

If anyone reading this is involved in any Haram relationships in any way whatsoever, even if it is just a virtual relationship through social media and not in the real world. Please stop it and stop it now! I plead with you. I beg of you.

Believe the words of Allah when He says: ‘And do not come [anywhere] near fornication. It is indeed an indecency and an evil way.’ Because believe me you, this relationship will lead to nothing but trouble for you in the long run. I know, because I have experienced it first hand.

Make whatever you have Halal, and if you can’t make it Halal, then give it up completely until you can. If there is no chance of it ever becoming Halal, then run from it as far as you can before it brings you ruin and damnation in your life.

I pray that God gives you strength to take on this advice and to heed the warnings in a way I was not able to. I let my desires get the better of me and because of that I have affected in a bad way many people’s lives along the way.

 

©Islamopdia – Written anonymously ‘Confessions of a Serial Cheater’ is a collaboration between Islamopedia and others to raise awareness of the issue of infidelity in marriage. Although the characters and the narrative are fictional, the story is based on true events and reflects the pain that many women (and men) have to suffer due to the selfish actions of one partner. The purpose of this series is to stop anyone engaged in such activity before it’s too late and deter anyone thinking of committing such a sin before they fall into it. NB: Anyone having trouble in their relationships should seek professional help from qualified scholars and counsellors.

 

 

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